Questions and answers from KIDS

Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!

Q: What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A: "Is that you mommy?"

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.

Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll

Q: What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?
A: ME!!!

Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In snow banks.

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

Q: Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!

Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog.

Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing!

Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A: It let out a little wine!

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!

Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A: At the BP station!

Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
A: Odor in the court.

Q: What did the water say to the boat?
A: Nothing, it just waved.

Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
A: Dam!

Q: Why don't skeletons fight each other?
A: They don't have the guts.

Q: Why do you go to bed?
A: Because the bed wont come to you!

Q: What do peinguins use for napkins?
A: Flapkins

Q: Why did the bunny cross the road??
A: Because it wanted to show its girl friend he could hip hop!

Q: What do you call a cat that is frozen?
A: A Catsicle!

Q: What do corn wear to bed ?
A: Silk

Q: Why did the teacher exscued the firefly?
A: When you got to go you got to go

Q: What is the one word a dog can say ?
A: BARK!!

Q: WHY DID THE COMPUTER GO TO THE DOCTORS?
A: IT HAD A VIRUS!

Q: What do you take before every meal?
A: A "seat"!!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!

Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk!

Q: What is a baby's motto
A: If at first you don't succeed cry cry again!

Q: What must you do before you get board a bus ?
A: Get on it!

Q: what sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A: Ouch

Q: what did one fish say to the other?
A: if you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.

Q: why are fish so smart?
A: because they live in schools.

Q: what is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: the word smiles because there is a mile between each s.

Q: who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: a taxi driver.

Q: what do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant?
A: a very nervous postman.

Q: What color is a burp?
A: Burple!!

Q: What is black and white, white and black, black and white?
A: A zebra caught in a revolving door!!

Q: What do dogs eat at the movie theatre ?
A: Pup-corn

Q: What did the dog yell when it saw the pieces of a fallen tree ?
A: Bark! Bark!

Q: What's a dogs favourite dessert ?
A: Pup-cakes

Q: Why did the squirrel cross the road?
A: To show his girlfriend he had guts.

Q: Why did the cook get arrested?
A: Because he beat up an egg.

Q: Why do fireman wear red suspendors?
A: To keep their pants up.

Q: What did the pig say when the man grabbed him by the tail?
A: That's the end of me...

Q: Why was the man fired from the M&M company?
A: Because he threw away all the M&M's that had W's on them.

Q: What has 5 eyes and is lying on the water?
A: Mississippi River

Q: Which states are good for laughing?
A: Idahohoho, Hohohowaii, Ohahahaio, and Oklahohohoma

Q: Where do the pianists go for vacation?
A: Florida Keys

Q: Where do married women go?
A: Mississippi

Q: What do the blanket say to the bed?
A: You are under cover

Q: What do the little people ride?
A: mini van

Q: What is snake's favorite subject?
A: Hiss - tory

Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
A: Because he had no "body" to go with !!

Q: What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A: Dill me in!

Q: What do you call a nervous celery stalk?
A: An edgy veggie.

Q: Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor?
A: It was just a stage he was going through.

Q: What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A: Well, a cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night!

Q: What's the difference between a baseball player and his tired dog?
A: The ballplayer wears a complete uniform, but the dog only pants!

Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: Penguin with a diaper rash!!

Q: What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator door?
A: Close the door, I'm dressing!!

Q: What do grown up dogs say to their puppies?
A: Hush, puppies!

Q: Why was Mr. Cookie so sad
A: Because he was feeling crummy

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: I don't know - it never made it across the road

Q: What do you call a cow with no feet?
A: GROUND BEEF

Q: Why do monkeys have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers!!

Q: Why did the baby write a b on his knee?
A: He wanted to be a "b knee" baby.

Q: What are the best days of the week in Foodland?
A: Fry-day & sundae!

Q: What did the cook give his girlfriend for their anniversary?
A: A fourteen "carrot" onion ring!

Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner?
A: Man, that hit the "spot."

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer!

Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!

Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Q: What is black, white, and 'red' all over?
A: A skunk that got run over!