Sunday, October 31, 2010

Bumper stickers

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  1. I love animals, they taste great.
  2. EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
  3. "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
  4. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
  5. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  6. who laughs last thinks slowest!
  7. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
  8. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
  9. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
  10. Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
  11. Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
  12. Air Pollution is a mist-demeaner.
  13. Editing is a rewording activity.
  14. Make yourself at home .....clean my kitchen
  15. Allow me to introduce my selves
  16. Better living through denial
  17. I'm just working here until a good fast food job opens up....
  18. Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done
  19. Too many freaks not enough circuses
  20. Where there's a will...I want to be on it.
  21. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
  22. Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill it.
  23. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
  24. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  25. Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.
  26. Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.
  27. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
  28. Eschew obfuscation.
  29. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
  30. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
  31. So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
  32. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  33. All men are idiots....I married their king.
  34. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
  35. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
  36. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
  37. Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
  38. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
  39. If you are psychic - think "HONK"
  40. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
  41. You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
  42. Don't get me mad! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!
  43. You are depriving some poor village of its idiot!
  44. Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
  45. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom
  46. Grow your own dope, plant a man.
  47. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
  48. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
  49. My karma ran over your dogma.
  50. I brake for... wait... AAAH! NO BRAKES!!!!!
  51. A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.
  52. I'm not driving fast-just flying low.
  53. Help starve a feeding bureaucrat.
  54. My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird!
  55. Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
  56. "I is a college student."
  57. It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
  58. Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
  59. Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
  60. Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
  61. Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
  62. The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
  63. Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
  64. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  65. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
  66. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
  67. "Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!"
  68. "According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist."
  69. "Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have."
  70. How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?
  71. Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms"
  72. Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear
  73. "Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
  74. "Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"
  75. "I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles."

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